Your Moment of Zen

why so serious?

2008-07-22T19:16:00.002-05:00

when mtv played music

2008-07-13T08:21:00.002-05:00

side car kisses

2008-07-07T10:08:00.001-05:00

partiots

2008-07-06T10:40:00.003-05:00

le petite mort

2008-07-03T11:55:00.001-05:00

so long george 1937 - 2008

2008-06-23T08:25:00.002-05:00

2004 interveiw

virtual hendrix

2008-06-03T10:31:00.001-05:00

so long harvey 1927 - 2008

2008-06-02T12:21:00.002-05:00

Harvey's genius lay in trying not to break on stage. The comedey was never what Tim was doing, but Harvey always on the verge of breaking. Fucking GOLD.

ben stien is a dick

2008-05-29T16:25:00.001-05:00

black balloon

2008-05-15T09:40:00.000-05:00

saturday morning acid trip

2008-05-13T16:32:00.000-05:00

uncle albert 1906-2008

2008-05-08T11:40:00.002-05:00

turkey von hindenburg

2008-05-06T12:11:00.001-05:00

would you fuck me? jay and bettie

2008-05-05T10:33:00.000-05:00

radio vladivostok

2008-05-02T16:12:00.002-05:00

cut cut cut

2008-05-02T12:21:00.000-05:00

R2-3K

2008-05-01T11:40:00.001-05:00

fuck buttons

2008-04-25T16:55:00.001-05:00

super bollywood man

2008-04-23T16:14:00.000-05:00

holy trinity of chopped liver

2008-04-18T12:27:00.001-05:00

norton defiant

2008-04-18T11:59:00.000-05:00

besoffener

2008-04-17T12:04:00.001-05:00

jew scissors

2008-04-14T13:01:00.001-05:00

zero sum

2008-04-11T14:31:00.004-05:00

In game theory and economic theory, zero-sum describes a situation in which a participant's gain or loss is exactly balanced by the losses or gains of the other participant(s). It is so named because when the total gains of the participants are added up, and the total losses are subtracted, they will sum to zero.

VOLK - Nationalism goes POP!

2008-04-08T13:35:00.007-05:00

"Pop music is for sheep and we are shepherds disguised as wolves". The new Laibach album VOLK is the bands comment on pop culture, presented in a collection of 14 pop songs, inspired by national anthems.

NSK

selling sanctuary

2008-02-22T14:06:00.002-06:00

wig wam bam

2008-02-13T14:48:00.000-06:00

something on the grammys didn't suck

2008-02-11T15:11:00.000-06:00

someone thought this was a good idea

2008-02-05T15:57:00.000-06:00

2008-02-04T12:48:00.000-06:00

tits of death - iron nipples

2008-02-04T08:56:00.000-06:00

spanish for your nanny

2008-02-01T09:14:00.000-06:00

menomana

2008-01-31T08:50:00.000-06:00

hot wet bald pussy

2008-01-30T09:20:00.001-06:00

2008-01-28T15:13:00.000-06:00

MY PET PEEVES.
BY DAN LIEBERT
- - - -

Women who breastfeed in public but then make a big show of hiding it as if I care.

Total strangers telling me what to do, especially square-dance callers.

Those pretentious phonies who say "pasta" instead of paste or "Boca Raton" instead of rat's mouth.

Itchy labels on bungee ankle straps so I itch the whole way down.

When my opera cape gets caught on homeless people's junk.

Waiters who recite the specials in a bored singsong voice as if they don't really care what I eat.

Bad art in motel rooms, especially bad performance art.

When a woman stands near me and people think her ugly baby is mine and it is.

Dentists who cram my mouth full and don't even ask me one question, though I've been practicing all year.

Big, conceited bodies of water, especially Lake Superior.

The depressing attractions at the Svenskfilmindustrie theme park, near Stockholm. (Actually, I may have dreamt this.)

When a can of cheap peas says "Pea Color and Size May Vary" and inside there's just one giant blue pea.

Halloween decorations in a hospice.

Distant calliope music at night tempting me to forget my duties and run off with the circus and to hell with her orgasm!

A "nature burger" with fake grill marks painted on it.

People who know way too much about the Merovingians or cheese.

Prank phone calls like the guy who called me selling light bulbs for the blind. Ha-ha. Very funny. You are sick, mister.

Barbecue restaurants with happy pigs on the sign.

Those foreign guys on the subway who pretend to read newspapers written in gibberish.

People on fire—they're always asking for favors, even if they hardly know you.

The way road signs talk to you in that stern, fatherly voice.

I never seem to meet those cheerful, uncomplicated women you see on tractor-trailer mud flaps.

When a lecturer takes a drink of water and doesn't offer us any.

I've been all over the world and have lived among every kind of culture and I can say, without any hesitation, that the most ignorant, rude, selfish, and self-centered people on earth are babies.

r a w k

2008-01-24T09:59:00.000-06:00

who is bobby conn?

2008-01-20T10:40:00.000-06:00

al tijuana

2008-01-17T11:27:00.000-06:00

ahhahh

2008-01-16T12:23:00.000-06:00

ummm....

2008-01-13T17:51:00.000-06:00

sellers + shakespeare + muppets = wtf * omfg

2008-01-06T18:33:00.000-06:00

portal christmas

2007-12-27T16:40:00.001-06:00

xmas is all around

2007-12-19T09:55:00.001-06:00

soul full of garlic

2007-12-14T11:37:00.000-06:00

2007-12-12T09:04:00.001-06:00

2007-12-11T16:19:00.000-06:00

S H O R T I M A G I N E D
M O N O L O G U E S .

- - - -

Blake,
Alec Baldwin's
Character From
the Movie Version of
Glengarry Glen Ross, Motivates Some
Fourth-Graders.
BY Sonny Harding
- - - -

Are they all here? What? Grant's at speech therapy? Well, I'm going anyway.

Let's talk about something important: the annual magazine-sale fundraiser.

I'm here from downtown—from the school board on a mission of mercy. Your name's Chip? You call yourself a salesman, you son of a bitch? Your school's going to run out of cash before you start the fifth grade unless you start selling some magazines, starting tonight, Chip.

As you all know, first prize is two minutes in the money machine. Anyone want to see second prize? Second prize is a Koosh Ball. Third prize is you're fired. What's that? Sorry, apparently third prize is a big Tootsie Roll.

You got leads, ladies: grandparents, your dad's co-workers, aunts and uncles in Maryland. You can't close these leads, you can't close shit, you are shit—what? She's right, kids, don't sell door-to-door to strangers. There's a lotta sick perverts out there.

What's my name? You see this watch? That watch cost more than your Xbox. That's my name! Really? $300? Christ.

You're nothing. Honor roll? I don't give a shit. Take care of the class hamster? Fuck you. You wanna go to school here? Get out there and sell some Newsweeks.

I can go out there tonight and get 20 subscriptions to Entertainment Weekly! In two hours! And my aunts and uncles are long dead, you sons of bitches.

A-B-C. A—always, B—be, C—careful. Remember those perverts, kids. Let's get some sort of buddy system going, huh?

And, um, the class with the most sales gets a pizza party with Shrek.

speechless

2007-12-11T09:34:00.001-06:00

great while high

2007-12-07T16:58:00.001-06:00

my sharona

2007-12-07T16:55:00.001-06:00

2007-12-06T14:57:00.001-06:00

2007-12-06T14:57:00.000-06:00

im so ronery

2007-12-04T10:16:00.000-06:00

tis the season

2007-11-29T11:32:00.000-06:00

2007-11-28T12:51:00.001-06:00

blowing bubbles

2007-11-27T16:08:00.000-06:00

holiday gift ideas

2007-11-19T15:52:00.001-06:00

accordion attack

2007-11-19T08:59:00.000-06:00

dolemite baby

2007-11-14T09:22:00.000-06:00

knocked the fuck out

2007-11-13T13:38:00.000-06:00

midget on the loose

2007-11-06T09:15:00.000-06:00

the office

2007-10-30T11:12:00.001-05:00

japanese bikini rodeo pie fight

2007-10-28T11:08:00.000-05:00

django

2007-10-27T09:44:00.000-05:00

and cows disagree with me...

2007-10-22T08:53:00.000-05:00

2007-10-19T14:38:00.000-05:00

please god, make it stop

2007-10-15T13:46:00.000-05:00

white bread

2007-10-10T16:18:00.000-05:00

danny for president

2007-10-05T08:53:00.000-05:00

2007-10-04T10:33:00.000-05:00

furrries, klingons, bowling

2007-10-03T16:37:00.000-05:00

2007-09-24T22:56:00.001-05:00

today i quit

2007-09-21T08:25:00.000-05:00

the secret

2007-09-16T16:41:00.001-05:00

i lived on the moon

2007-09-15T15:36:00.000-05:00

the mighty heroes

2007-09-12T19:02:00.000-05:00

hacked off bitch

2007-09-11T10:12:00.000-05:00

bumblebeez - dr love

2007-09-08T09:51:00.000-05:00

this is the shit

2007-09-03T09:30:00.001-05:00

werewolf wtf

2007-09-02T09:14:00.001-05:00

werewolf wtf

2007-09-02T09:14:00.000-05:00

hilly crystal

2007-08-30T08:34:00.000-05:00

just shut the fuck up

2007-08-29T14:19:00.000-05:00

with great power...

2007-08-29T09:52:00.000-05:00

2007-08-26T18:28:00.000-05:00

then and now

2007-08-21T22:11:00.000-05:00

if henry darger designed games

2007-08-21T15:21:00.000-05:00

2007-08-18T19:55:00.000-05:00

release the fear

2007-08-18T15:55:00.001-05:00

last man on earth

2007-08-18T09:38:00.000-05:00

max roach 1924 - 2007

2007-08-18T09:36:00.001-05:00

latest five seconds of fame

2007-08-15T16:41:00.000-05:00

just another whore at the capitalist gang bang

2007-08-13T22:11:00.000-05:00

loop short

2007-08-12T05:05:00.001-05:00

steampunk

2007-08-10T19:06:00.000-05:00

2007-08-09T21:23:00.000-05:00

knights of cydonia

2007-08-09T12:17:00.000-05:00

the reflecting skin

2007-08-06T13:21:00.000-05:00

demon face

2007-08-05T20:16:00.000-05:00

cockroaches e.l.f.

2007-08-05T19:58:00.000-05:00

boom snap

2007-08-03T14:44:00.000-05:00